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Amazing Engineered Music

Understanding Engineers - Take One

To the optimist, the glass is half full.   To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.   To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it

needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys?   We must have been waiting for

15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.   Let's have a word with him."

"Hi George!   Say, what's with that group ahead of us?   They're rather slow aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters.

They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.   The pastor said, "That's so sad.   I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea.   And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

  Understanding Engineers - Take Four

"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.   Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough

features yet"

  Understanding Engineers - Take Five

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah.   If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with

the other woman, and you can go to the   office and get some work done."